Why We Need to Avoid Narcissists in Our Lives
Narcissists follow different norms than other people. A few qualities narcissists possess are an exaggerated sense of self-importance, the inability to emphasize, plus a pathological and excessive need for admiration.
Like sharks, they often get negative coverage– generally seen as harmful, menacing forces to be avoided.
To protect yourself from such people, take stock of those around you and sample out those that make you feel comfortable. If there are narcissists, it may be wise cutting them from your life.
Here are various reasons to do this and how to say goodbye to them for good.
Why You Should Avoid Narcissists
They Lack Empathy
Lack of understanding may be the main defining trait of a narcissistic person. They cannot recognize or identify with other people’s feelings and experiences.
Narcissists are also self-centered in that they consider everything to be about them and belonging to them. They surpass other people’s boundaries, devaluing, humiliating, and mistreating to bend people to their cravings.
They hardly understand or care how others feel and do not consider other people’s feelings in their words or actions. For instance, narcissists will always utter cruel things offhandedly while being thoughtless of the effects of their words. They also become annoyed or extremely impatient when other people air their problems.
Sense of Entitlement
Since they consider themselves unique, narcissists expect favorable treatment at their disposal. They are firm believers in getting what they want. Throughout their lifetime, they expect those around them to inevitably comply with their whims and wishes.
Those who do not comply or meet their needs are rendered useless. And if you dare to defy their will, prepare yourself for outrage, aggression, or the cold shoulder.
Narcissists often want to take charge of everything that happens around them. What is even more frustrating is that they tend to control people while being entirely disinterested in other aspects of their lives.
In a relationship, this person will mistake control for affection. It is healthy to be involved in your spouse’s life but unethical to dictate it.
Being controlling in a relationship is often considered an abuse of dynamics as the control culminates to a point where your significant other feels their freedom is threatened. And as a result, the narcissist uses control to break up with the person.
Other common manifestations of control in a relationship include monitoring your partner’s whereabouts, criticizing their appearance, checking their messages and emails, and making critical decisions with little to no regard for their opinion.
The Pursuit for Constant Admiration and Praise
Narcissists seek a limitless supply of attention, admiration, and praise to compensate for a perceived lack of acceptance, low self-esteem, and confidence, usually due to attachment issues or early childhood trauma.
You can compare their sense of dominance to a balloon that progressively deflates without a constant stream of recognition and applause to maintain its shape. Narcissists continually aspire to fill their egos, and as a result, they stay around people who are ready to give in to their infatuated desire for affirmation.
Such relationships are often biased. It is often about what the abuser gets from the victim and not the other way. If a diminishment or interruption in the fan’s praise and attention pops up, the narcissist considers it a betrayal.
They Never Take Responsibility
In every aspect of a relationship, there should be some give and take element. Part of this means the willingness to accept when wrong and the ability to accept things as they come. These are two aspects narcissists struggle with.
They are deflectors and will always try to dodge the blame with cheating, lying, and everything between. More often, they rationalize everything and make up excuses.
It can be challenging to uphold a relationship when one does not take responsibility for actions, feelings, or words. Since narcissists cannot distinguish the boundary between blame and accountability, they try to avoid both.
They Frequently Intimidate, Demean, Belittle, or Bully Others
Upon encountering someone who possesses what they lack, narcissists will feel threatened, especially more popular and confident people. They also feel threatened by those who confront them at any rate.
Therefore, the ideal way to bring down the threat and fuel their ego is by suppressing such people. Narcissists conduct this dismissively or condescendingly to prove how little or weak the other person is. They might also carry on the attacks with bullying, name-calling, threats, and insults to neutralize the other individual.
Ways to Stop Attracting Narcissists
The above traits make narcissists unpleasant and unbearable to be around. As such, it is prudent to know methods of keeping them away for good. They include:
Setting firm boundaries
While it is good to be a giving, empathetic person, you must also ensure to recognize narcissistic qualities. One way to achieve this is by setting firm boundaries– knowing what and not to tolerate. Doing this will help tell narcissists to back off.
Avoid those who try to control your behavior.
If someone imposes their opinions on you and gets mad when you do not take action, that is a red flag. Such people are worth avoiding. These actions are narcissistic tendencies, from trying to control your behavior to criticizing your presence. A good friend or partner will always appreciate you regardless of how you look or act.
Strive to develop rock-solid confidence
This way, you will not need anyone’s approval or opinion. It is the easiest way to get rid of anyone who makes you feel less human. Narcissists love being around people who do not believe in themselves or whose insecurities overpower them.
Gaining self-love and confidence is challenging, but once you acquire and project it outward, narcissists will see an assured being they cannot easily manipulate. The view will prompt them to keep a distance.
For most people, avoiding narcissists can be challenging. But when you begin to recognize narcissists and what they are attracted to, it will be much easier to get rid of them. Make the right move and strive to avoid narcissists.